The Space
Museum
24TH APRIL 1965 - 15TH MAY
1965
(4 EPISODES)
1. THE SPACE MUSEUM
2. THE DIMENSIONS OF TIME
3. THE SEARCH
4. THE FINAL PHASE
To say that it
has such a dire reputation, I’ve never found The Space Museum
to be all that offensive. Built upon an intriguing predestination paradox,
Glyn Jones’ story was the first Doctor Who adventure to explore the
fourth dimension with any real ambition. The peculiar first episode stands
out as being truly exceptional for its time, as the Doctor and his
companions come face to face with their near-future selves who have all
become no more than museum exhibits in glass cases, and thus find
themselves desperately trying to change their fate. But in trying to avoid
their destinies, are they ensuring them? Or is it their inaction that will
lead to their entombment? The questions that this serial’s first episode
begged are some of the most stimulating to arise from the series’ first
two seasons.
Sadly though, The Space Museum is marred by some awful
supporting performances and some even less inspiring sets. Worse still,
after the fascinating first episode matters soon descend into one of the
most asinine runarounds that the series has ever churned out. What
could have been portrayed as a chilling contest with Time herself instead
became a vehicle for fluffs and frolics; what could have been an utterly
enthralling exploration of both the physical and moral laws of time
instead became one of the series’ greatest embarrassments.
Above: This ain’t a love song… Robert Shearman
Defending the Museum
However, in marked contrast to the Timelash DVD release -
which supplemented a widely unpopular serial with a documentary exploring
what went so terribly wrong with it - here the Restoration Team have
allowed writer Robert Shearman to champion the poor old Space Museum’s
cause. The ten-minute Defending the Museum featurette may not be
quite the “robust defence” that it’s billed to be, Shearman conceding
within moments that the serial has three major problems – the last three
episodes! – nevertheless the acclaimed author’s eloquent representations
gave me food for thought, leaving me open to the possibility that The
Space Museum might in fact be a relatively high-brow, misunderstood
piece of cruel lampoonery.
Peter Purves soon brought me back to reality, however. Though his
character, Steven, wouldn’t make his debut until the subsequent serial, on
this DVD Purves serves as unofficial moderator of the commentary, and
unlike the kindly Mr Shearman, Purves really doesn’t pull his punches.
Though he does admit that The Space Museum is, in principle, “a
very subtle, very clever piece,” the erstwhile Blue Peter
presenter’s observations generally highlight the serial’s infamously
“irritating” and “insulting” qualities. William Russell (Ian) and Maureen
O’Brien (Vicki) are equally scathing of the four episodes that the DVD’s
producers evidently forced them to suffer, O’Brien even labelling it “slow
to the point of static.”
What I found most interesting about this DVD though was the chance
that it offered to hear from the story’s writer. Listening to Glyn Jones
defend his script against Purves, O’Brien and Russell’s forthright
criticisms is a fascinating experience as it reveals all the unfathomable
amendments and omissions that then-script editor Dennis Spooner must have
made to it. What’s more, it soon becomes clear that Shearman might
actually have a point, and that there really might be more to this unloved
and unwanted four-parter than meets the eye. As I watched the serial
again, it suddenly seemed obvious that the Moroks had indeed been written
as morons. Had the actors playing them been able to do so without
constantly fluffing their lines, then Jones’s amusing idea might well have
shone through without prompting, but it’s difficult to see moronic
characters when they’re masked by clumsy performances.
Similarly, I began to see that the young Boba Fett - doing his very
own Time Warp with his hands always on his hips - and his rebels
were held back not by complicated socio-political reasons, but by their
hilarious inability to open the armoury door. What’s more, aided and
abetted by the disc’s production subtitles, I was able to spot each of
The Space Museum’s parodies of previous adventures. Most mockingly of
all though, I realised that the grand old Space Museum itself is not an
exciting, monster-strewn spectacle but a decadent, sterile hall that
nobody wants to visit; a monument to a dull and dreary empire that no-one
really cares about anymore.
However, despite my enlightenment, one insurmountable problem still
reared its head: The Space Museum is dull, and is even more so by
today’s standards. Teeming with fascinating ideas it may be, but their
execution is so very poor that the final three episodes struggled to hold
my interest, just as they have done every time that I’ve ever watched
them. The tedium is occasionally broken with a flash of subtle brilliance
as the Doctor notices a missing button on Ian’s jacket, and reasons that
they’ve altered their fate already, or Ian brazenly tries to talk down an
armed man, confident that he can’t be killed because he’s seen his frozen
future. Unfortunately though, such moments are few and far between, and no
amount of articulate half-praise can change that.
Beyond the commentary’s prosecution and Shearman’s defence, the
release boasts two further noteworthy special features: My Grandfather,
the Doctor featuring William Hartnell’s granddaughter, Jessica Carney;
and A Holiday for the Doctor, starring Christopher Green. The
latter is a painful affair; so much so, in fact, that I couldn’t bear to
finish it. Whilst no DVD release these days would be complete without some
measure of silliness, every once in a while the burlesque humour passes me
by completely. My Grandfather, the Doctor is much more
entertaining, however. As somebody who knows little about Hartnell outside
of Who, listening to his granddaughter discuss his fatherless
childhood and gradual rise to fame is a fascinating experience. I even
found myself mulling over her “best is yet to come” anecdote, imagining a
time-travelling TV historian from the future popping back to the 1960s to
tell an old actor about his wonderful legacy, Vincent and the Doctor-style.
Ultimately The Space Museum is an interesting release. I
dare say it will be sat on far more shelves than it would have done had it
not been released in a box set together with a 1960s Dalek story (albeit a
most contentious one), but no doubt the increased exposure will do the
serial’s reputation more good than harm, supported as it is by Rob
Shearman’s testimonial. In the future, I’d love to see Shearman have a go
at adapting The Space Museum, perhaps as one of Big Finish’s
Unbound audio dramas. He could set it in a universe where actors learn
their lines, script editors aren’t too heavy-handed, budgets are
reasonable, and pigs can fly.
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You can usually
split Doctor Who
stories up into those that you like and those
that
you don’t. The thing about the really good stories and the really
bad ones is that they are both equally memorable for very different
reasons. However, it is the stories that are simply forgotten that I feel
most sorry for… lost into obscurity. For a lost story such as Galaxy 4
this is almost understandable, given the lost visuals, but when it comes
to a story like The Space Museum, you can sit and watch all four
episodes and still want to try and tuck it away in that black hole that
K-9 is guarding in The Sarah Jane Adventures. I find that
disheartening. The Space Museum may have more problems than most,
but I still rather enjoy it.
I can’t tell whether The Space Museum is a parody of a particularly
bad Doctor Who serial
or just a bad Doctor Who serial. There are so many clichés
prevalent here that would occur throughout the series that you could
almost believe that somebody was deliberately pointing out that this
wasn’t the way for the show to go. It’s
practically corridor-wandering porno, with lots of scenes of our heroes
lost in exactly the same piece of corridor and spending massive chunks of
the story discussing how lost they are. This is an enemy versus rebels
tale where one of the Doctor’s assistants helps to overthrow the
government by short-circuiting a talking computer. And, just for a change,
one of Barbara’s cardigans is instrumental in an escape plan.
Both
sides of this conflict are presented in just about the most rubbish way
possible. Lobos, the governor of the Museum, is one of the dullest
characters imaginable and you can just see the Morok government sending
him off to the moribund outpost so that he can bark at guards and feel as
if he’s
someone important. The rebels are all kids dressed up in black jumpsuits
hanging out in their secret hideout. To show just how much of a battle of
wills this story is, the two leaders - Lobos and Tor - don’t even meet
during the course of it! Both of them prefer to strut their stuff rather
than try to take each other on.
Furthermore,
some of the dialogue here is abysmal.
“I’m
just a simple soldier!”
screams a guard who wears his lack of character as a badge of honour. One
of the rebels cries
“the
revolution has already started!”,
just to remind the audience of what is so underwhelmingly playing out
before our eyes. And, even worse, one of the guards rather listlessly
comments towards the end of the last episode
“Has
there been any grey-illa action against us?”
(sic)
I think he means guerrilla action, but it comes to something when we are
in the throes of the dénouement and two guards are casually asking each
other if anything is happening! Still,
whilst the majority of the dialogue here is banal, there is some amusing
interplay amongst the regulars:
“Doctor,
we’ve got our clothes on!”
screams Ian.
“Well
I should hope so dear boy!”,
the Doctor quips.
However, if you look at all of this as some sort of parody of Doctor
Who, it all sort of works. The trouble is that this serial is directed
so seriously, I can’t help but wonder if this story is in fact a stab at
something rather more meaningful. Surely this early in Doctor Who’s
run they wouldn’t be taking the piss out of what they have achieved in two
seasons? That would be suicide for any show, but remember, next up is
The Chase (though at least there we are left in no doubt that we
aren’t supposed to take it seriously). The Space Museum is
presented as a drama but written as a spoof, and the resulting action is
quite awkward to watch.
This
is a real shame because the first episode promises so much. The idea of
the travellers landing on a planet and jumping a time track so they
haven’t actually arrived yet is devilishly clever and affords the writer
the chance to play about with the usual clichés of landing on a planet and
provide some lovely moments. Glasses are smashed and jump back into hands,
clothes are changed, silence screams, nobody can see the regulars and they
can’t touch a damned thing. It is twenty-fives minutes of fascinating
mysteries, and had the story snipped an episode and continued in this
manner we might have had a classic on our hands. Whilst the eponymous
first episode presents the gorgeous idea of seeing your own personal
future, subsequent episodes don’t have any narrative tricks up their
sleeves; they merely discuss the implications of ending up in the museum
and the plot instead pours its energies into the dull rebels versus
government plot.
Nevertheless,
the first cliffhanger in particular is good and really
drives home the horror of the
situation; the glass smashing,
the footprints appearing, the
building music as the cases
disappear and the travellers
realise that they have finally arrived and must fight the future that they
have seen. The final episode tries to bring us back up to speed as our
heroes are trapped within the preparation room waiting to be turned into
exhibits, where they discuss how their actions have led them right
to the very future that they have tried to avoid, but it just isn’t clever
enough, and it hasn’t been worked into the last three episodes with any
imagination. The story could do with some of the clever narrative trickery
displayed in The Big Bang. Instead it just feels like four actors
thrown into a room. What a shame.
Speaking of actors, the regulars are as sharp as ever here and still keep
everything perfectly watchable. William Hartnell is full of both joy and
bluster as, naturally, his character outfoxes both the rebels (hiding in
the Dalek) and the Moroks (his gleeful use of the thought scanner). There
are a number of delightful Billy fluffs, my favourite being where he
totally fails to say
“straight
ahead”
and William Russell and Jacqueline Hill can barely contain themselves.
It’s affectionate and lovely how they come to his rescue. Ian gets to play
the hero, and Russell gives what is probably his last best performance
– I love the scene where he confronts the soldier (“No
you’ll say… I shot them all.”).
However, for a change it is Maureen O’Brien who gives the finest
performance. I really like Vicki; I still think she’s
Susan done properly with
a suitable dose of enthusiasm and a healthy balance of maturity and
childishness. And here O’Brien gets to take centre stage; she rouses
rebels, foils the armoury lock and gets to buoy up the rest of the crew
when they are resigned to their fate. She’s gorgeous too, no matter what
O’Brien says about that frock. The show lost something vital when Vicki
was married and that was a sense of wonder.
On a final note, the revelation that the cause of all the hypnotic wibbly-wobbly,
timey-wimey
stuff in the opening episode is down to a switch on the console that
hasn’t clicked into place is so anti-climactic that it insults even the
youngest members of the audience. I think I’ll leave it there before I
start to swear. At least the return of the Daleks in one of the very best
‘next time’ trailers whets the viewer’s
appetite for next week. A spoonful of sugar makes the deus ex machina
go down...
All told, The Space Museum is a bizarre fusion of remarkably clever
ideas and appalling clichés. The first episode is well worth watching, but
what follows afterwards is only worth considering if you can view it as a
Benny Hill sketch with turgid direction. It’s one of the few
Doctor Who serials where you can so obviously see where everything
went wrong and the potential for something so much greater than we got.
This one is an interesting experiment that failed, but as ever with the
Hartnell years, at least they tried.
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